to my readers: i am very sorry for not writing for a while. i had what the psychiatrists like to call "writers block" but no matter, life will go on. i would like to speak to you today about butt cracks. sometimes you see the crack in school when someone is bending over to pick up a pencil, sitting in the chair in front of you, or maybe even just walking down the hall. there are three classifications of the bum crack that i would like to specify. 1. the sneaky crack. this crack is the kind that barely sticks out of someones jeans and is hardly recognizeable to the human eye. 2. cheecky bum looker crack. this crack is about an inch above half mass. it is very grotesque because that is when you can see most of the details like a hairy mole, a butt zit, or crack hair. and now at this moment i would like to pause and give you a second to visualize butt crack hair............. pretty gross huh? anyways... 3. flashy moon crack. this crack is the most rare of them all. but alas! it does exist. this is when you see a glimpse of a whole entire butt crack (from top to bottom). for those of us that have experienced seeing the flashy moon crack, we have been scarred for life. i wake up screaming in the middle of the night because i have nightmares about it. so beware good people, cracks come in all forms and rankings. do you think that if you have seen one butt crack you have seen thim all?? just a little food for thought.
covertly,
Peppy Platypus
